Citizens, The City of Bluegrass asks you to Vote on "More Bluegrass" Law

As Mayor of Bluegrass it is my goal to keep each citizen as happy as possible by providing them with the most Bluegrass music a human can possibly listen to each and every minute of every hour of every day. 

Therefore, as an appendage to the More Bluegrass Law I will also take into consideration the want of more banjos, mandolins or fiddles in one's Bluegrass music diet.  If the More Bluegrass Law passes, more of the instrument most voted for on the ballot below will be mandatory for any and all Bluegrass recordings played in our Wonderful City.

I will do everything in my power to make this, the More Bluegrass Law, pass for our great City.  Please read the new law and vote below. 

THE MORE BLUEGRASS LAW

PART 1 Section A: Music played in public, public buildings, public transportation, Pickin' parties, dentist and doctor's offices, hair dresser and barber shops, grocery stores, ice cream trucks and restaurants must contain all of, and in some cases more than 1 of, the following 6 instruments: Banjo - Acoustic Guitar - Mandolin - Fiddle - Dobro - Stand Up Bass. 

PART 2 Section B: Vocals must be sung 70% or more through the nose and the vocalist's hair must be done "The Bluegrass Way" (See Bobby Osborne, Ricky Skaggs, Bill Monroe, Mac Wiseman and Buck White). If the hair does NOT fit this description, vocalist must wear a Bluegrass/Cowboy hat (See Ronnie Reno, Jimmy Martin, Lester Flatt, Bobby Osborne again or Marty Stuart from the early days). In each of these cases the hair was done "The Bluegrass Way" creating the potent combination of Bluegrass hair and a Bluegrass hat.  #%$! fire boys that's mighty strong.

PART 3 Section C: Women of Bluegrass can wear and do their hair ever what way they want to because we love them and think they're pretty and look Bluegrassy no matter what they wear or how they sing and must be shown the utmost respect and addressed as "Ma'am" as in "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Ma'am" etc.  And they don't have to sing through their nose neither. (Like many of our male citizens The Mayor of Bluegrass is married and cannot cook.  Not even a little bit).

Please vote below and let's make this happen for a better brighter tomorrow for all of us! 

Thank you and God Bless The City of Bluegrass!

Your Mayor and your Pal,

Wichita Rutherford

Office: (615) 852-5699 24hr Hotline

Comments

[Charlie Carr]

If you don't have Bluegrass Law, then you don
t have no part of nothin'!